Career Musings

Almost everyone who might possibly read this blog knows that I went to school to become a teacher.  My main focus at IU was elementary education, but when I moved back to Cincinnati, I picked up my pre-kindergarten certification as well.  A year of teaching preschool made me realize that perhaps high school would be a better fit, so I enrolled at Xavier to pursue a 7-12 license in Integrated Language Arts, and a graduate degree to boot.

So now I'm licensed PK-12, the market is as terrible as it ever was, teacher salaries and benefits are at an all-time low, and I oftentimes feel my passion for teaching slowly ebbing away.

Luckily, throughout my time at XU I had a great job working on Saturdays at a physician's office where my dad just happened to be the physician.  I learned new skills, was allowed to work independently, and truly felt like I had accomplished something at the end of each day.  When more hours became available at the office (coincidentally at the end of my final semester at Xavier), I felt super blessed to be able to hop right into a job I liked, with a boss I loved.  (And I'm not just saying that because my dad is the only "follower" of this blog, haha.)  The thing I like about my job the most is that while I do have daily tasks to accomplish, I also have a series of projects that have a definite start and end point.  I feel successful when I complete a project, and I feel like the work I do makes a specific difference in the running of the office, which leads me to think -- Next year, when I'm not pregnant anymore and Gavin will be nearly 7 months old, will I make an effort to return to teaching?  Or instead, continue to train myself and pursue a future career in office management?


There are definite things I love about teaching.  I love children.  I love the opportunity to use creativity in my day-to-day activities.  I love seeing students grow and develop as a result of a lesson or unit I've put together.  But I fully believe that I will get that same satisfaction from seeing my own child(ren) learn -- in fact, Stephen and I spent the whole afternoon today at Barnes and Noble choosing children's books to read to our son.  I believe that the things I love about being a teacher will also be the things I love about being a mother.  And really, office administration and teaching have a surprising amount in common.  My job is social, and I spend all day talking to co-workers and patients.  My job involves other people, but it also involves a striking amount of independent work (which I tend to prefer).  Everyone has their own specific role in the functioning of the office, just as teachers oftentimes collaborate while at the same time running their own classrooms.  The hours are good, the environment is welcoming, the work is satisfying, and there is room for growth.  What more could you ask for, really?

My first few years post-college, I dealt with a lot of coulda-woulda-shoulda feelings.  What if I had stayed in Bloomington and taught there?  What if I had more actively pursued substitute teaching in Cincinnati?  What if I had opted to student teach as part of my secondary education program, despite the fact that it wasn't required?  Ultimately, there were a lot of forks in the road where I could've made different choices, but at the end of the day, I feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing right now, and I'm excited to see what kind of professional path it could lead me down.

The Danger of Online Shopping

In the first trimester, when the baby is the size of a poppyseed and the thought of keeping down any solid food (other than tacos, apparently) makes you gag, you look for ways to make your pregnancy feel "real" and exciting -- especially since many times you haven't shared your news with friends and family yet.  You can't very well get caught shopping in Gymboree or your whole cover would be blown, so instead you sit on the couch with your vanilla milkshake (the only other thing that sounds remotely good to you) and you shop online.

Well, you browse online, since you realize that the poppyseed growing inside you will soon make you very, very broke.

It's a dangerous habit.  In those first few months, Stephen and I spent hours looking at different outfits, nursery themes, and baby gear online.  Well before we found out we were having a boy, we knew exactly what his bedding and room decor would look like:

We had everything all picked out for a girl too.  We were nothing if not fully prepared for this baby to go either way (granted that it was ONE baby and not TWO...phew!)  And for our birthdays, my parents and grandma gifted us a huge portion of the adorable sports-themed set we had spent so much time drooling over in those early months.  We were also gifted a fun assortment of clothes, books, and our travel system.  We felt (and continue to feel) beyond thankful and lucky to have such supportive people surrounding us.

Now, the real danger of online shopping arises when you already HAVE a certain item -- say, a baby bouncer/swing -- and then you look online and see this:

Literally, the Cadillac of baby swings.  We became fixated.  Here we were with a perfectly adorable, well beyond adequate baby swing ALREADY PAID FOR AND IN OUR POSSESSION, and along comes the MamaRoo to make us jealous with its IPod capabilities and "move as you do" slogan.  Long story short, we are now the proud owners of the MamaRoo pictured above.  Again, I'd like to thank my grandma for indulging our crazy first-time parent behavior.  

They say that after you find your wedding dress, you should stop looking.  Don't browse through wedding magazines.  Stop DVRing Say Yes to the Dress.  By continuing to look, you are tempting yourself to fall out of love with your dress and in love with another -- because, let's be honest, most wedding dresses are gorgeous and most of us wish we could wear more than one (or five) for our big day.  Online shopping, particularly for baby clothes, is very similar.  Most baby clothes are adorable.  They are small and soft and have cute characters and bright colors.  It is easy to picture your unborn child looking precious in every single thing you see.  Most recently, I have fallen in love with this:

I want to dress my son up in this Davy Crockett outfit, hat and all.  I can't help it.  I picture my little boy with that raccoon hat and in my mind I think I must have that I must have that I must have that.  Now, of course, I've felt that way with most outfits I've seen (ESPECIALLY the ones with little coordinating hats), so I just visit the Gymboree site day after day, put the whole outfit in my online shopping bag, and click the "x" in the corner once I see how much Gavin as Davy would cost us.  (A lot.  It's always a lot.)

Anyway, the whole point is that online shopping is too easy, too tempting, and too darn expensive.  And yet somehow I feel that this is only the beginning...

Thank goodness for registries.  :)

Baby Bellies

So, as I mentioned earlier, I've done a horrible job photo-documenting this pregnancy...but I actually have managed to take a few snapshots of my growing tummy.  For the sake of posterity, here goes!

Within the past few weeks, strangers have started to ask when I'm due without that hint of hesitation -- you know, the whole "Is she pregnant or has she just been eating too much ice cream?" thing.  It makes me feel good.  :)  Plus, my sister-in-law is four weeks further along than I am, so I get to see how beautiful and pregnant she looks (and that makes me hopeful too).

New Beginnings

Hello, Jenn here!  Because I'm almost 23 weeks pregnant with our first child, and because I've done a terrible job photo-documenting my pregnancy thus far, I figured it might be a good idea to start recording fun little tidbits from this experience that I can share with Gavin when he's older.  Stephen and I are so excited to meet our little one in November, and the promise of all the memories we'll share with our baby boy keeps me going when this whole pregnancy thing gets hard.

Like when it's 100000 degrees outside for three weeks straight.

Seriously, it's been ridiculous.  I hate to be one more person complaining about the heat, but I feel like I'm sweating even when I'm sitting in an air conditioned room, so you can only imagine how ridiculous it gets when I dare to venture outside (which, truth be told, has not been very often these past few weeks.)  I feel lucky that Stephen lets me control the thermostat in the house and only occasionally wakes up shivering in the middle of the night.  He's been amazing throughout this entire pregnancy, actually.  (No surprise.)  During the first trimester, when I felt horribly sick and yet craved Mexican food constantly, he put up with night after night of tacos and quesadillas.  Honestly, I came back from a vacation to Mexico and headed straight for Taco Bell on the drive home from the airport.  It was atrocious.  And now during the second trimester, when my body is constantly aching and I'm always exhausted, he rubs my back without complaint after his 10-hour workday (and subsequent 2-hour class at Cincinnati State).  He's such a hard worker and I know he'll be an amazing role model for our son.  But until Gavin gets here...I'm the lucky recipient of his incredible thoughtfulness and patience.

I guess I somehow envisioned pregnancy being different than this.  I feel SUPER connected to our baby -- especially when Stephen is talking to him before we go to bed or I feel him move randomly when I'm at my desk or driving -- but I haven't loved the pregnancy itself.  I'm having a hard time with what it's doing to my body (I suppose I could blame all the tacos), and I feel like I'm constantly planning ways to get back in shape once Gavin arrives.  I'm not sleeping well because I'm not used to sleeping on my side, though the Snoogle pillow definitely helps!  Whenever I get up in the middle of the night, I'll come back to find Stephen curled up around the Snoogle.  He has no recollection of doing this, but I've had to nudge him to his side of the bed several times within the last few weeks.  He complains about the Snoogle taking up so much room...but secretly -- subconsciously -- he loves it.  I don't know, I guess I just thought that I would love being pregnant.  I've always wanted to be a mother, and it is so incredible to feel our baby wriggle his way around my tummy, but I never realized that loving a BABY is soooo different than loving the other stuff pregnancy brings along with it.

To end on a positive note, though, here are the things I am MOST excited about:
- Setting up Gavin's sports-themed nursery!  We have everything ready to go, now we just have to get the room painted and the furniture put together!  And by we, I mean Stephen, since I'm really quite worthless at furniture assembly.
- Gavin will have a baby cousin, Quinn, who will be just a few weeks older than him!  I can't wait to see these boys grow up together and be best buds.  (And, if I have my way, wear adorable matching outfits occasionally!)
- Stephen will be an AMAZING father, and I am so excited to watch him bond with our little boy.  It will be so fun to take Gavin trick-or-treating every year, and to football games.  Stephen is already planning all the activities he wants to share with G.  If he would rather bond over the Monster Truck Jam with our son than with me...I'm okay with that.  :)
- Holidays will be that much better with a baby to celebrate them with!
- It is going to be interesting to see not only what physical aspects of each of us our baby ends up with -- I hope Gavin gets Stephen's long eyelashes, and we KNOW he'll be a tall boy -- but it'll also be incredible to watch his little personality grow and see what traits he inherits from who.  (Whom?  I'm a bad English major.)

Just to make sure I've officially caught up on the first 23 weeks, here are some of little G's ultrasound pictures:

The first picture of our little pumpkin!  7 weeks

Loving his little hands and alien face.  :)  11 weeks

We tried to find out the gender at 17 weeks, but he was sitting contentedly on his legs, sucking his thumb.  Stubborn little booger!

The day we found out he was a BOY!  Look at his tiny fingers!  18 weeks

Our 21 week ultrasound -- Stephen couldn't believe how long his arms were!